‘As close to magic as I’ve ever been’

A month into my senior year, in mid-September, I sat on the freshly cut grass of Polk Place for a socially distanced picnic with three of my friends. As we ate takeout from our favorite Franklin Street restaurants, we reminisced about some of our favorite memories at Carolina.

In the three years since we’d moved into Hinton James Residence Hall, we had experienced everything together. The embarrassment that came with getting lost for over an hour on our first FDOC. The immense pride we felt when we received a good grade on a paper or test after studying for hours upon hours. And, of course, the unbeatable thrill of rushing Franklin Street after a Carolina victory.

As the conversation died down, I looked around at all the buildings that surrounded us, each of which held more memories. Murphey Hall, where I had English 105. Steele Building, where I changed my major three times before landing on journalism, which led me to spend most of my time in Carroll Hall. And Wilson Library, where I never studied but always swore I would before graduation.

The air turned cold as the sun sank below the horizon, and I could feel my time at Carolina slipping away with it. We sat there, just the four of us on that majestic quad, illuminated by the glow of the lamp posts lining the brick paths.

None of us moved or said much. It was as if we had an unspoken agreement: We can’t leave. We have to make up for lost time. Even then, as early as September, we knew our time at Carolina was dwindling.

Just one more minute on the quad, I thought.

Just one more memory to share.

Just one more glance around at the buildings.

Maybe it would be enough. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough, even in a “normal” year.

My Carolina experience will always be marked by the pandemic — the Zoom fatigue, the empty campus, the lives lost. I will always long for what could have been.

But my Carolina experience will also be marked by the classes I loved, the professors who challenged me to think deeply and write clearly, and the friends I made, who walked this journey alongside me — even if we did trip on a few bricks along the way.

I’m not naïve enough to say that my time at Carolina has been perfect. As a university, we have experienced a turbulent four years. This year, in particular, has been filled with personal, professional and academic hardship for myself and countless others.

In some ways, it felt at times like I was making a slow trudge to a finish line that kept moving farther and farther away.

But in just a few short days, I will finally reach that finish line and turn my tassel with the other members of my class. In doing so, I will become the first person in my family to graduate from our state’s flagship university.

When I look back on my time at Carolina, I hope I will always remember this place how I saw it that September night on Polk Place, when I sat in silence, illuminated by the light of the Carolina moon and mesmerized by the beauty of the campus that surrounded me.

To quote one of Carolina’s favorite sons, Thomas Wolfe, “it was as close to magic as I’ve ever been.”