Be the CEO of your aging

You can confidently predict that a 2-year-old will ping-pong from toy to toy and engage with you in a toddler’s way, but who knows at 75 how you will get around or how you will act?

Envision your later years of life. You may be in the 35% of people who receive care in a nursing home for only a year or less prior to death, according to the federal Department of Health and Human Services. Or you may be among the 65% who live out your last phase of life in your own home. Either way, odds are in favor of you living a long time at home, so now’s the time to plan.

Cherie Rosemond

Cherie Rosemond, director of Carolina’s Partnerships in Aging in the Office of the Provost, suggests that we take charge of our later years, exploring, adapting and learning new things. But the time is now to plan for important things such as housing, your legacy and your wishes at life’s end.

“We all are aging,” Rosemond said. “Later life can be a time to grow, to give back and to enjoy renewed vitality. We don’t arrive at a specific moment and suddenly we’re old. Instead, we can plan for different phases of life.”

To do so, Rosemond makes the following suggestions:

• Become CEO of your aging experience. As CEO, look for a board of expert advisers from health care, finance, law, social work and other areas that are important to you. Then, make decisions based on good information.
• Build your caregiving team in advance of a crisis. Consult family, friends, allies and professionals. Explicitly ask people: “Would you be willing to serve in a caregiving role for me?” Finalize that relationship by talking about your values of caregiving and what will support your dignity, independence and decision making. Also discuss what would happen if you got dementia or your caregiver developed serious health problems.
• Plan for your legacy. This is especially important if you live alone. “It’s not a given that your assets will be passed down to family,” Rosemond said. “What really matters to you? What do you want your legacy to be? Can you make a financial impact on social change? Those questions are important.”
• Don’t let ageism hinder your planning. It’s common for older people to face discrimination and even talk about themselves disparagingly. “Whole markets are developed around anti-aging products and messages. It’s so ironic because aging is natural, and everybody does it,” said Rosemond.

Helping solo agers connect

Older people are increasingly living alone. In Orange County, home to UNC-Chapel Hill, 26% of people over 65 live alone, Rosemond said. That number is consistent with national averages. “It’s thought to be a growing number, partly because of people’s decision not to have children or because families are dispersed,” she said.

“Solo agers” are older adults who are making decisions about their future independently. You might be a solo ager if you don’t have children, never married, or live far away from or are estranged from relatives. “Anyone could suddenly become a solo ager by many different mechanisms — death, divorce for example,” Rosemond said. At that moment, solo agers have multiple decisions ahead.

Rosemond convenes a local group of solo agers. The group helps equip people to plan for their future by raising awareness, sharing resources and creating opportunities to connect solo agers with each other.

Livable design for aging at home

Take the long view when choosing where to live. Find a house that “fits,” Rosemond said — the size, the layout, the neighborhood, the climate. It’s important to consider homes created with livable design, that is, built for people of all ages and abilities. Partnerships in Aging works through Orange County’s Master Aging Plan to promote and advocate for livable design at the policy level so that houses are constructed with livable design instead of undergoing expensive retrofitting. “We advocate for thoughtfulness about the design from the very beginning, including the size of homes and what we put in them,” she said.

When you need help

“Hard conversations can be liberating, because aging is a very human space,” Rosemond said. “We all will need varied services and supports, so define and talk about your values in all phases of life, especially the end of life.” Those conversations can include how you envision later life and what measures you want taken at your life’s end, what kind of burial service will honor your life and what you want your legacy to be.

To facilitate such conversations, Rosemond recommends several resources:

• The Conversation Project helps people who agree to give care and to receive care or assume a decision-making role.
• Five Wishes offers resources and facilitates conversations about aging with dignity.
• Orange County residents may call the Department on Aging’s Aging Helpline at 919-968-2087. Other counties have similar resources.

The Partnerships in Aging Program is dedicated to getting students, faculty and staff engaged in conversations about aging. Internships are available to undergraduate and graduate students from all disciplines: city and regional planning, health humanities, anthropology and public health to name a few. Internships create intergenerational connections and offer experiential learning opportunities, Rosemond said. “We challenge students to think ahead about their own aging experience and to create communities that are good places for people of all ages to live.”