Former political opponents model civil discourse

Political adversaries do not need to consider each other as enemies. Listening is more important than talking, even for elected officials. And simple friendliness can go a long way.

Those were the messages emphasized by Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) and his 2020 Democratic challenger, Cal Cunningham ’96 ’99 (JD), who conversed about their friendship during the Abbey Speaker Series event on Nov. 10. The College of Arts and Sciences’ Program for Public Discourse and Carolina’s Institute of Politics co-sponsored the event, held at the FedEx Global Education Center’s Nelson Mandela auditorium.

After moderator Sarah Treul pointed out that their race against each other cost $300 million and was, at that point, the most expensive Senate race in U.S. history, she began the evening with a friendly, if contentious, question. What exactly was Cunningham — a Lexington native — thinking when his campaign tweeted a photo of him standing in front of a gas grill with hot dogs and buns on it, wearing an apron that read “Ambassador of North Carolina Barbecue”?

“Can we agree that gas grilling is not barbecue?” asked Treul, Bowman and Gordon Gray Term Professor of political science and faculty director of the Program for Public Discourse.

Cal Cunningham at the Abbey Speaker Series (Cammel Hurse)

After Cunningham, a former N.C. state senator who lost to Tillis by a margin of 1.8%, admitted that the photo was “a teaching opportunity” for out-of-state staffers, the conversation moved to more serious topics.

The main topic was the pair’s post-election friendship, which began when Cunningham greeted Tillis in a hallway before their first debate and said, “Win, lose or draw, the barbecue’s on me.”

Cunningham repeated the offer to Tillis during his phone call conceding the race, and the men met in January 2021 at Big Ed’s restaurant in Raleigh. Since then, Tillis — who serves on the Senate’s Veterans’ Affairs Committee and Armed Services Committee — has reached out to Cunningham, a Lt. Col. in the U.S. Army Reserves.

Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) during the Abbey Speaker Series event on Nov. 10. (Cammel Hurse)

Human courtesies may not be the stuff of deep political theory, but they are critical for restoring civility to American political culture, the men agreed. “We have to affirm civility,” Cunningham said. “We have to model what civic discourse looks like.”

Tillis added that elected officials have to negotiate issues that they may disagree on but still work together to address. “I can give you a long list of those experiences that happen every day,” he said. “So it’s not as bad as it looks. But it’s not as good as it could be, whether we’re talking about two opponents in a campaign, or a diverse group of people on the Senate floor.”

Cunningham pointed out that one of the joys of politics is engaging with those who are casting the votes. This gives politicians the opportunity to quit talking at people and allows talking with them. “At the heart of it is direct engagement between the elected official or the candidate and the electorate, and an invitation into the dialogue,” Cunningham said. “And then, active listening.”

Abbey Speaker Series event on Nov. 10. The College of Arts and Sciences’ Program for Public Discourse and Carolina’s Institute of Politics co-sponsored the event, held at the FedEx Global Education Center’s Nelson Mandela auditorium. (Cammel Hurse)

Tillis, who said he has been involved in several bipartisan efforts in this Congress, admitted that a lack of willingness to listen is among the body’s biggest problems. “[Members are] not listening,” he said. “They’re so focused on what they want to say, they’re not instructed by something that may make what they have in mind better or bridge the gap between two parties.”

In order for politics to improve, it needs to attract people who are willing to work with people whose viewpoints differ from theirs, both men agreed.

“In order for us to work, in order for this country to work, we need more folks who are willing to try to get things done, to solve the problems in front of us rather being the bomb throwers who are trying to make a point,” Cunningham said.

Established in 2020 with a generous gift from Nancy ’74 and Doug Abbey, the Abbey Speaker Series brings experts from different disciplines and fields to campus — as individuals, in pairs or on panels — to foster productive dialogue on timely issues across a range of perspectives. These events are free and open to the public. Learn about upcoming events in the series.

The Program for Public Discourse seeks to support a culture of debate and deliberation through curricular and extracurricular programs, enabling students to be better citizens, leaders and stewards for our democracy.

(Cammel Hurse)