Holiday stress, depression survival guide
Psychiatrist Nadia Charguia offers strategies for dealing with stress during what may not be the “most wonderful time of the year” for many.
“Happy Holidays!” may not be so happy for some people, especially those already suffering from mental illness.
Stresses such as not enough money, an endless to-do list or loneliness can make a person feel anything but merry. For people who have a history of mental health needs or who are at-risk, a significant amount of research shows that symptoms can worsen during this time of year, according to Dr. Nadia Charguia, a psychiatrist and associate professor in the UNC School of Medicine.
Seasonal factors such as reduced exposure to sunlight, shorter days, social obligations and expectations of the holiday season can increase the risk of exacerbating mental health problems.
The University offers permanent employees and their dependents a free confidential counseling and resource program for stressful times. Through theEmployee Assistance Program, trained counselors from ComPsych are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week by phone at 877-314-5841 or through theComPysch website.
To decrease stress, Charguia offers the following advice:
Take care of yourself
Charguia counts self-care as a priority during the holiday rush.
“It’s something to keep in mind,” she said. “As much as we want to take care of others and do for others, in the jam-packed holiday schedule doing so often comes at a cost because we only have so much time and energy. Even when it’s a good energy, we have to work on replenishing it. Maybe this is a time that individuals could be more attentive to their own needs.”
Those needs include eating a balanced diet and keeping any established exercise routine, she said. Also, it’s important to be aware of potentially destructive behavior such as alcohol or substance abuse at a time when everyone tries to be in a good mood.
Assess your own expectations and those of others
People can stress themselves by setting up expectations they cannot meet, Charguia said, such as wanting to do things or buy gifts that are not financially feasible.
“Those internal expectations can be a significant contributor,” she said. “But we also can assume a lot of external expectations such as appearing happy and merry. A person who’s already suffering with mental illness may not necessarily feel the happiness or the merriment. They may try to push themselves to have that superficial facade but may not be able to.”
Charguia’s advice? Assess whether an expectation is real, then tailor your behavior to what’s truly feasible and won’t deplete your energy from, say, a forced expression of happiness. Such behavior can feed loneliness and feelings of isolation.
“We all of a sudden feel that we cannot be ourselves, cannot be honest, cannot be true,” she said. “So it actually creates more distance rather than a connection.”
For a situation such as an office or holiday party where merriment seems expected, Charguia suggests it’s reasonable to weigh the choices of attending and possibly depleting your emotional energy versus taking a break, relaxing or doing something that restores you.
Define what is important
Charguia recommends determining what adds true meaning and joy to our lives in an effort to help us not overextend ourselves.
“It’s trying to be mindful on a daily basis about what really matters the most,” she said. “That’s something we all need to define for ourselves, but I would say love and connection with family and friends are more important than the holiday party or shopping.
“It’s not about presents under the tree or how perfect the Christmas tree is. Those are fine, but allow yourself to be present for yourself if you can and for others. To be true to self is my answer to what I find most meaningful, and I would assume that would go for a lot of folks as well,” she said.
‘Lovely time of year to try something new’
Some folks having feelings of sadness or loss during the holidays, possibly because of shorter days, memories or times of reflection. And, this is not necessarily because they suffer from a form of mental illness. Try to supplant isolating thoughts with new experiences that connect you to others, Charguia advises.
“This can be a lovely time of year to try something new and engage with others because there is more opportunity for that,” she said. “It can be a nice time of year to push oneself to reach out to others who include themselves in what’s already happening as a way to form some connections rather than feeling lost in loneliness.”
